Wednesday, August 4, 2010

My story and where I am now...

My battle with weight, diets, failures, successes started as a little girls.  By the age of 4, I was a chunky little girl. I was one of the biggest kids in the class.  At one point in high school, I lost the pounds by exercise, I still "felt" like I was the biggest.  So my battle has not been only the physical weight but the mental and emotional weight.   I've never know what it is to be thin and that scares me a little. 

  I have been married for almost 6 years to a wonderful man.  He loves me, the whole me.  He likes me plus size, but he wants me to be happy and spend many many many years together.  We tease that we'll put up with each other so we can have a golden 50th anniversary.  My biggest fear is that I won't make it.  We have 3 beautiful children, ages 5, 3 and 2, a wonderful home and a great family/church.  Life is good on all fronts.  Yes,  we have our ups and downs, it's called life, but I am blessed in the fact that we have many more ups that downs.

  After our youngest child (Sept 08), I knew I had to get control of the weight.  I was at 320lb, after the baby I went to 312 at the hospital.  I decided I was going to try WW.  I won a 3 mo. free online membership, yeah!!!  From Sept 08 to May 09, I lost 70 lbs.  I went from 320 to 250 and even for a couple of days, flirted with 240s.  I blogged about it, I was excited about it, I did it on my own, logging everything I ate, counted points and exercise!  I could do this!!!  At the end of May 09, my sciatic pain flared up.  I was discouraged and depressed.  All this hard work and I still have pain!!!! What the heck!!!  I kill my self, deny myself and still have pain!  So I did the best thing... I ignored going to the doctor and getting help,  I decided to go to the fridge instead.  Gained 5 lbs that week, lost it, gained, 10lbs, lost it, gained 15lbs.  Guess what by May 2010, I am now back to 320lbs!

  I am my biggest now at 322 lbs (7-31-10) at age of 35.  What is going to make this time different in losing the weight? ...  WLS.  I know I can lose the weight but now I can keep it off.  The other big factor is that I am not doing this alone.  I am going through this journey with my baby sister.   I have 3 toddlers that I can't take care of.  I need to lose this weight for them.  I don't want to die at 40 and leave my family without me.  I have this chance to change my life, for me, for them and I'm gonna take it!

  My insurance will pay for VGS.  I have my doctor (highly recommended).  My first appt is Aug 27th at 9pm ( my sister went July 29th, she gave me the heads up).  My medical necessity form is submitted.  My psych appt is Aug 6th. I went to my first support group meeting.  I even have my pre- cert referral number from the insurance!  Ready to go!!!  

So that is where I am now...

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